Thoughts and blubbering

I'm out of the bedroom, off the bed. Having a REAL cup of coffee, some tater tots, and corn for lunch. :) My husband has promised me a beer tonight, and I may go out in a bit and get a real pop with caffeine. And I am definitely tailgaiting Saturday night at the Royals game!

It is a sad day, but I kind of expected these results. I woke up with a migraine yesterday at 4:30 am, and I haven't had one except once during this entire process. I didn't get rid of it all day even with the help of Tylenol and a little caffeine, so knew something was up with hormones/estrogen/whatever it is that gives me migraines right before I start. Then I got those cramps yesterday afternoon.

Yesterday was a really emotional day. I woke up still with that migraine, took a bath to try to get rid of it, felt like crap and crawled back into bed to cuddle. I had tears then, tears in the middle of the day, and lots of tears last night. Tears off and on this morning on the way to KC for lab work, held it together really well in the waiting room, through the blood test, and through the shot in the butt in the bathroom, tears off and on the way home, and then lots of tears after the call. Still some tears, but I'm ok with that.

I'm still very glad we went through this process. At some point down the road we'll choose to try the 2 frozen embryos if the doctor agrees, and even if that doesn't work I'll still be glad we went through this. I married my best friend, the love of my life, and I am so incredibly happy with him, and know we'll continue to be happy and ok even if we never have children.

It is definitely the hard times, the sad times, that make you appreciate what you have and make you savor the good times, the happy times.

I am so incredibly blessed. I have the best husband in the world whom I love and admire for so many reasons...those kisses on the hand just because, that smile, the goofy jokes just to make me laugh, the encouraging words when I'm sad, the "kicks in the butt" when I need them (not literal kicks in anything!), the occasional telling me I'm full of crap (very very rare though!) :) and so many more reasons. And my wonderful family and friends...the surprise flowers, the surprise disaster room/desk clean ups, the brownies in my mailbox, the text messages, emails, phone calls, comments, fist bumps, and cards. And the two cutest dogs ever who are flanking me right now, making sure I'm protected from whatever.

So while I'll have a few more tears today, and maybe tomorrow and the next day, it sucks in so many ways but it's not the end of the world. And I am DONE with needles and medications for awhile! Yay!